I hear my mother's voice in my head.

So I hear voices in my head on a regular basis.
Mostly it's my mother's voice reminding me of things or commenting on things I should or shouldn't do. I realize that sounds bad but really it's not in a negative way at all. Just in a - I know what my mum would say in this situation kind of way. It happens now and then but I've realized lately that there are a few specific situations that occur regularly where I ALWAYS hear her voice. 
1. Whenever I reheat food in a plastic container.
By far the most significant situation is whenever I put a plastic container of food in the microwave. EVERY SINGLE TIME I can hear my mum telling me that I shouldn't heat plastic as it releases toxic gas when heated. I don't know why that has stuck with me but it has and it means that every time I bring a homemade lunch to school or work I can't help but think of the toxins I'm putting in my body before I eat my reheated food. I also concider buying glass containers for a short moment until I quickly dismiss it. EVERY TIME. And then I quickly forget about it until next time I heat food in tupperware. And yes, whenever I can I try to not heat my food in a plastic container even though I have never fact checked her opinion. But you know, mother knows best.
2. When I cross the road with my hands in my pockets.
I have this memory of me as a child crossing the road with my mum. I must have been around eight years old or something as I was old enough to not want to hold my mums hand while crossing this small road. I remember putting my hands in the pocket of my jacket, a red jacket with cool patterns on. I remember my mum destinctively telling me to take my hands out of my pocket so if I tripped I could catch myself with my hands and not fall on my face. I of course refused. I think you can all figure out exactly what happened next... I fell on my face of course. On. My. Face. In the middle of the street. So much for street cred.
I still remember the humilitation and anger, not only about falling over and strangers seeing it but also about my mum always being right. Even when I was trying hard to be cool and grown up.
So now when I walk with both my hands in my pockets while crossing the street I hear my mums voice. Most of the time I remove my hands from my pockets as a precaution, having learned my traumatic lesson so many years ago. (I would also like to take the opportunity to insert that this is something to follow even when walking in stairs. Especially if you're in the library at your university with people walking behind you. It may create an awkward situation if they walk past you without saying a word as you panic to pull your hands free and protect your face just before hitting the steps. Yep. Just a tip)
3. Whenever I catch myself having "bad manners" at the dinner table.
Those who know my mum know that as the proper english woman she is she has very good manners! She was always reminding us as children to say please and thank you and to eat properly. Today I'm very grateful for those reminders, when I was younger- not so much. But still, if I catch myself talking with food in my mouth, chewing with my mouth open, sipping a drink loudly, having my elbows on the table or even sitting with my legs up- I hear my mum asking me to eat properly. To this day I still hear her voice when I put my legs up while eating, even when I'm sitting by myself in my own flat. I can't turn it off. And I still feel slightly rebellious and pleased as I sit there on my own eating with my legs up. Yes I am obviously a wild child. #adulthood
 But hey, I'm not complaining, because my mama's the best. 
Just everyday life, words words words | | Comment

September 2016

There's just something about the beginning of autumn that gets me wanting to reopen my blog. Though saying that- this isn't me starting to blog again really, it's just me having felt the urge to write for a while now and finally giving in to it (it may or may not also have something to do with me not wanting to study for my exam on Wednesday).
This month has been absolutely crazy intense. In the best way! With a bachelorette party, two weddings, a visit to Copenhagen, a visit to Gothenburg, school work, baby sitting, work and a lot of meetings planning for other events it's been a full month to say the least. But oh so wonderful! This weekend was the craziest of all but also the greatest by far. Seeing my close friend of 10 years get married to her best friend was undescribable! The huuuuuge smiles on their faces, all the people there to celebrate this great happening, a true love feast! 
So today I woke up physically and mentally exhausted- probably partly because of the weird spider dream I had. It's a small miracle I got myself to shool! I got home again around noon and I decided I needed (needed/couldn't even think the thought of doing anything productive) to recuperate myself so I could get back some energy. A three hour nap, a ugly dance party in the living room, a long warm shower with some singing (I don't know how to shower without singing), a bag of crisps, watermelon, a few episodes of White Collar, the cosiest PJ's I own (my grandmothers bright turquoise track suit from the eighties that is five sizes too big) and here I sit on the sofa ready for this coming week! Alone time, food, sleep, music and ugly dancing usually does the trick! Cleaning and studying can wait til morning.
Now I'm going to go lie down in my bed (it's getting dark outside so it feels ok even though it's seven o'clock) with a bowl of grapes and my computer. Tomorrow reality awaits!
Just everyday life | | One comment

Stockholmare and escalators

I had a moment yesterday when I felt as if I could see things from the perspective of a native Stockholmare and I was extremely pleased. I felt as a part of them. A part of the cool kids. Then again, I'm not sure I'm supposed to want to be a typical Stockholmare. Not that I really know what a 'typical Stockholmare' is exactly, I just know I'm not supposed to want be one. Something about Stockholm vs. Göteborg and Jönköping being on the Göteborg side. I can't remember the exact reasons but there's rarely much logic to my thinking anyway.
Anyway, yesterday afternoon I was on the escalator going up from the train station up to school. I was in a hurry to get to class so I was quickly walking up the escalator. On the left side obviously, I'm not completely behind the bobber (jag är ju inte heeeelt bakom flötet liksom- a Swedish saying, that definitely sounds less stupid in Swedish, well, slightly less stupid at least). You see, I was warned about this when I moved here. One does not simply stand on the left side of the escalator! You just don't. That area is reserved for people who want to walk up the moving escalator. It creates order. You stand on the right side if you're standing still and happy with the pace provided. 
I was walking up the escalator on the left side passing people who were standing still. On the right side. Then all of a sudden I see the forbidden. A few steps above me I see a man standing still on the LEFT side. I repeat. He was not moving. He was standing s-t-i-l-l. ON THE LEFT SIDE!!!
I could feel and clearly see the irritation and confusion this caused. Everyone noticed. Every person having to zigzag past him as they made their way up the escalator. Even the people standing a few steps down or up on the right side of the escalator glanced at him. "How dare he?! Who is this uninformed person who obviously doesn't know the unspoken rules of the escalators in Stockholm?! Completely disrupting the order of things. If people always did whatever they wanted we'd have anarchy. Is that what you want? Huh??
For a second I was annoyed as I made my way around him. Then it made me smile. People need a wake up call from time to time to remember that things are different in other places. Not all Swedish cities are the same. In some cities people actually just stand still on the escalator, waiting until it reaches the next floor. I know, hard to imagine.
Then my smile grew bigger, realizing I might be on my way to become a Stockholmare after all. 
This is me a few months ago while visiting Stockholm, it's pretty obvious I was an outsider as I'm standing a tad too far on the left side. Not quite as organized as the people in front of me. They take these things seriously over here you know.
Just everyday life | | One comment