I hear my mother's voice in my head.

So I hear voices in my head on a regular basis.
 
Mostly it's my mother's voice reminding me of things or commenting on things I should or shouldn't do. I realize that sounds bad but really it's not in a negative way at all. Just in a - I know what my mum would say in this situation kind of way. It happens now and then but I've realized lately that there are a few specific situations that occur regularly where I ALWAYS hear her voice. 
 
1. Whenever I reheat food in a plastic container.
By far the most significant situation is whenever I put a plastic container of food in the microwave. EVERY SINGLE TIME I can hear my mum telling me that I shouldn't heat plastic as it releases toxic gas when heated. I don't know why that has stuck with me but it has and it means that every time I bring a homemade lunch to school or work I can't help but think of the toxins I'm putting in my body before I eat my reheated food. I also concider buying glass containers for a short moment until I quickly dismiss it. EVERY TIME. And then I quickly forget about it until next time I heat food in tupperware. And yes, whenever I can I try to not heat my food in a plastic container even though I have never fact checked her opinion. But you know, mother knows best.
 
2. When I cross the road with my hands in my pockets.
I have this memory of me as a child crossing the road with my mum. I must have been around eight years old or something as I was old enough to not want to hold my mums hand while crossing this small road. I remember putting my hands in the pocket of my jacket, a red jacket with cool patterns on. I remember my mum destinctively telling me to take my hands out of my pocket so if I tripped I could catch myself with my hands and not fall on my face. I of course refused. I think you can all figure out exactly what happened next... I fell on my face of course. On. My. Face. In the middle of the street. So much for street cred.
 
I still remember the humilitation and anger, not only about falling over and strangers seeing it but also about my mum always being right. Even when I was trying hard to be cool and grown up.
 
So now when I walk with both my hands in my pockets while crossing the street I hear my mums voice. Most of the time I remove my hands from my pockets as a precaution, having learned my traumatic lesson so many years ago. (I would also like to take the opportunity to insert that this is something to follow even when walking in stairs. Especially if you're in the library at your university with people walking behind you. It may create an awkward situation if they walk past you without saying a word as you panic to pull your hands free and protect your face just before hitting the steps. Yep. Just a tip)
 
3. Whenever I catch myself having "bad manners" at the dinner table.
Those who know my mum know that as the proper english woman she is she has very good manners! She was always reminding us as children to say please and thank you and to eat properly. Today I'm very grateful for those reminders, when I was younger- not so much. But still, if I catch myself talking with food in my mouth, chewing with my mouth open, sipping a drink loudly, having my elbows on the table or even sitting with my legs up- I hear my mum asking me to eat properly. To this day I still hear her voice when I put my legs up while eating, even when I'm sitting by myself in my own flat. I can't turn it off. And I still feel slightly rebellious and pleased as I sit there on my own eating with my legs up. Yes I am obviously a wild child. #adulthood
 
 But hey, I'm not complaining, because my mama's the best. 
 
 
 
Just everyday life, words words words |
Upp