Maggan gives me nightmares

Lately, as in the last couple of months, I've had some really vivid dreams. Like really vivid. They tend to be filled with action and plot twists and just usually the craziest things I can imagine, or rather didn't know I could imagine. Crazy scenarios with a lot of my friends (whom I wont mention because some of them die, some are extremely annoying and others not relevant in the dream) and also quite often famous people. Especially lately.
A few weeks ago I dreamt that Mcdreamy (Patrick Dempsey) was my dad and we lived in this big white wooden house out on the country side. One night Greg Grunberg (from heroes) broke into our house because he was angry with Mcdreamy.  Grunberg tried to shoot Dempsey, aka my dad, but somehow my dad got a hold of the gun (without getting shot) and shot Grunberg in the ear and then it just got crazier from there. He tried to shoot himself, missed, had to call the ambulance, they didn't come until the morning after, I was terrified and so on.
I think it may have been the same night as I dreamt that I was hiding a murderer at church, Michiel Huisman being the murderer and that I fell in love with him (you can't really blame me for it though, he is gorgeous) I was torn about being in love with a murderer but also extremely worried someone would find him and take him to prison without me knowing.
One night I  swam with animated whales. Yep. They were real but we were in an animated world so they were all cartoony and you could see the pixels. Similar to the world in Super Mario. The grass was bright, bright green and the water extraordinarily blue. It was warm and sunny but I was terrified. I could see these huge whales underneath me and I couldn't get out of the water. I just knew they were going to eat me. 
My dreams are rather upsetting most of the time because I always wake up with the feelings from the dream. Most of the time scared or angry. I don't know if it's the fact that my life is too boring and safe that I dream these things? It's the dangerous, brave, dare devil part of me that comes out and goes crazy. This wild imagination that I didn't know I had. It's the "Maggan" part of me. Maggan takes over at night when I no longer can control her and punishes me for keeping her trapped by making me have crazy dreams. And no, I don't hear Maggan's voice inside my head telling me to do things, so don't worry.
Just a couple of nights ago I had another dream that was just as unpleasant and  weird. I woke up an hour before my alarm went off feeling devastated and very angry at the same time. Especially angry at immature boys!! I dreamt that there was a fire in the church building and that two very close friends of mine ran back in to get something and died when the whole building exploded. There were loads of details and a lot of screaming and terror going on during this. To be fare it would've been a really good scene in a movie. Two points to Maggan, I mean the whole building exploded! It was quite the action scene. Then we were at the funeral, my friend and I were there together both so incredibly sad. I felt this huge guilt in my stomach as if I had killed them myself or had been able to stop the explosion. During th funeral we kept being bothered by these boys who just wouldn't leave us alone. Finally this rage just awoke in me and I verbally attacked them. I just hammered them.
Then I woke up. In the middle of shouting at these stupid boys. I was so tense and fired up and sad at the same time. Man, it was a weird feeling to wake up with. 
Now I realize that it's not all that strange that my sheets are half off the bed when I wake up or that I have problems with my jaw because I strain it at night. It's a rather insignificant reaction to all that goes on in my head at night. When Maggan is let loose.
Just everyday life, Maggan..., words words words |